Brian Moore had a great quote from Charles H. Spurgeon that he used in his eulogy for Lil DeMoss, who was married to Pastor Jimmy DeMoss for 56 years. I found the source and am giving thanks for the wonderful pastors’ wives I know of, and especially for one whose love and labors keep me going.
Churches do not give a married minister two salaries, one for the husband and the other for the wife; but, in many
cases, they look for the services of the wife, whether they pay for them or not. The Pastor’s wife is expected to know everything about the church, and in another sense she is to know nothing of it; and she is equally blamed by some people whether she knows everything or nothing. Her duties consist in being always at home to attend to her husband and her family, and
being always out, visiting other people, and doing all sorts of things for the whole church! Well, of course,
that is impossible; she cannot be at everybody’s beck and call, and she cannot expect to please everybody.
Her husband cannot do that, and I think he is very foolish if he tries to do it; and I am certain that, as the husband cannot please everybody, neither can the wife….Difficulties arise continually, in the best-regulated churches; and the position of the minister’s wife is always a very trying one. Still, I think, that if I was a Christian young woman, I would marry a Christian minister if I could, because there is an opportunity of doing so much good in helping him in his service for Christ.
It is a great assistance to the cause of God to keep the minister himself in good order for his work. It is his wife’s duty to see that he is not uncomfortable at home; for, if everything there is happy, and free from care, he can give all his thoughts to his preparation for the pulpit; and the godly woman, who thus helps her husband to preach better, is herself a preacher though she never speaks in public, and she becomes to the highest degree useful to that portion of the Church of Christ which is committed
to her husband’s charge. (From Spurgeon’s autobiography, The Full Harvest)